facebook is weird

so i was on the facebook, about to sign off, because its late and lets be honest, facebook is a black hole. anyway, on the suggestion bar on the side was a sign that said something about milby high school. that sounded familiar. so i clicked on the link. ah. milby was the high school haas went to. so apparently there is some research going on asking former students of milby & chavez to particpate to see if they have or have had cancer. thats really disturbing.

cancer connections.

sick with grief

i returned the somoza book and the fonseca book, fettered through the library @ the tzintzun residence, and found, surprisingly, a book that i remember jazmin mentioned once in a letter. its mario vargas llosa's book that i tucked in my backpack to read. it turned out to be carlos' book, not cristina's. all day we listened to NPR news. i rode to bennu, pulled it out of my bag, and read the first four pages before i had to help maribel with homework, answering questions about faust, mary wollstonecraft, and other things. but i have the book to read, to find the horrors within the pages that she mentioned, to see if any of its true.

...looked at someone i loved squarely in the face, knowing the most perfect phrase with which to break them, and saying it. then the inevitable crash of the pieces falling and, much too late, my remorse.

the chuckster wants you to believe in immigration reform -- mike!

my good friend walker texas ranger - thats right ultra conservative chuck norris - supports immigration reform. they abide the law, pay the taxes, so we should let them be legal.

he totally gets my vote over obama, who wants undocumented workers to pay a fine, learn english, and go to the back of the line.

check out the article and video.

**************

I run into her friends sometimes, at bars on the east side. They hug me, ask how I’m doing. I feel they pity me. I see it in their eyes. I know how I look. Crazy. But I avoid her haunts. Anyplace she could be at or she liked to go. It’s easy enough. I live among the gentrified houses on the east side or sometimes venture into the coffee shops in Hyde Park. I inhabit the world of wheatsville, fiesta, HEB on 45th, and everything in and around the UT campus.

This afternoon I rode my single speed bike down Manor road, just before sunset. The air was distinctly fall – with a slight bite. Past the Muellar Development, I stopped to watch sunset. Here along my ride is a lot of undeveloped land – trees and tall grass and the green color I love about Austin. When I sit on the bench and witness the sun dip down into the skyline, I agree with myself. This is exactly the reason that I did not leave. I've had a running 13 year love affair with this city, and nothing has been able to interfere with me and her. Not even a woman.

sigh...

i like when girls are jealous. i like when they look at you while you are dancing. when they find you wherever you are. when they dont care how they dance. when they acknowledge that you play an important role in their life.

i like when you know perfectly well how good things are between the two of you, but that the timing is so far off, that you don't mind that nothing will ever happen or that you have to wait for shit to straighten itself out. that women are so amazing. thats what i like.

reason #82

after i went to first thursday with friends, and once more deduced that boys are immature & gross, i rode from work to my gym for a late night workout. i was jogging & watching the news reports on the shooting today @ fort hood.

the statement from the family came on. they emphasized how they were good americans & loved america. i always find it odd that when someone goes on a mass shooting spree, the family always feels obligated to point out that THEY are good americans. the man was a soldier. he served his country. hes a good american. but obviously, he lost his mind. or like the incredibly high % of soldiers coming back from war, his mind is all jacked up. honestly, i cant imagine going & killing people then coming home & trying to "act normal" is exactly an easy transition. sometimes just listening to the stories that this former coworker of mine, a marine who did a tour in iraq, makes me surprised that he is able to function at all. today he told some story about boiling blood on iraqis that were killed.

i put my IPOD on & kept jogging, because i no longer wanted to hear the news of 12 people killed. its november. enough things already get to me.